Would you love to feel more loved in your relationship?
Do you spend your days feeling disconnected and empty reminiscing about the deep and happy connection you once had together?
Then you might be able to relate to my client, Sally.
Sally was in a challenging relationship with her husband. It seemed as though all the love they once shared was just a figment of the past. Her husband slept in another room and would barely even look at her. I encouraged Sally to switch her focus from the love she wanted to receive to the love she could give. So she began finding ways to show her love by doing small, kind things for her husband, such as making his lunch in the morning and including his favorite snacks. To her delight, his attitude toward her changed dramatically. He began looking her in the eyes and showing his genuine appreciation for her. They experienced more of a connection with that small act of caring than they had in months.
How can you adapt this strategy to transform your relationship?
When we are faced with difficulties in our relationships, it is so easy and common to focus on what our partner is doing or not doing. I have to admit when I was married I fell into that trap but it is a dead-end – you can never control someone else – your point of power is within.
Einstein said you can never solve a problem at the conscious level it was created -you have to rise above it.
So are you up for an experiment? What if you chose to focus on what you can control: your own actions. If you want more love in your relationship, then GIVE more love.
Stop waiting for him to go first and be the bigger person, just like Sally.
Express your love more often, and watch your relationship transform and grow into one that is healthier, happier, and more loving for both of you.