Did you know you have an ally? It’s true, your fabulous feminine side is waiting in the wings to help you reinvent your life!

Thank goodness, because have you ever felt like it’s up to you to do everrrrrrrrrything?

Sure you’re capable, competent and a rock star woman who can handle anything, but deep down don’t you long for a man to step up to the plate and take over at times? I mean mama mia come on now, some support would be nice, right?

I totally hear you. When I was married I was always caught up in this conflict- wanting my other half to take care of something, anything – but if I had to wait longer than a nanosecond it was too late, I took it on myself. Because I could do it quicker and better myself…sound familiar, love?

Well this proved pretty disastrous in my relationship and when things crumbled I had to cop to the fact I’d been living in my masculine energy way more than my feminine.

Why this is important for you:

Maybe you’re noticing you’re living a similar action oriented life and are feeling EXHAUSTED but not sure how to get off the hamster wheel.

I was exhausted too and invited a good friend to help me SEE me. After he pointed out I needed a refresher course in the fine art of being a woman, I realized I had to make major changes that were uncomfortable for me. Breathing life into my feminine nature became my sole focus. Even though flirting and dressing in a more girly style were good first steps, I knew that this was more than a surface job.

I had to dig deep and create a new mindset if I was going to pull this off.

Years of conditioning and choice making based in fear and doubt had left me in a vicious tug of war between “I can do this” and “This is too hard.” Even though I had seen evidence that my feminine nature had a power and magic all of its own, I still reverted to my old masculine style of rigid control most of the time.

Thankfully, an idea floated up during one of my never miss meditations. Maybe I could find a feminine role model to get some ideas. Certain I knew someone who was living out the sensual feminine life style that I craved, I searched my address book (yes that was back in the day LOL but I have to admit I still prefer an address book I can visually see!) for help.

Well, two names jumped right out to me. I dialed them up and arranged a tet-a-tet to learn about their natural sensual sense – and believe you me, I took notes! As we were talking I watched their gestures, their stance, their faces and most importantly, I watched how men acted around them.

These women had an ease and comfort with themselves that I couldn’t relate to. They exuded sexiness. Their flirtiness was so natural and engaging that when they came into the room, all of the men looked their way and the single men flocked to them.

With their support and counsel, I stepped gingerly into the ring. I was scared, nervous and wanted to throw up, but I was determined. If these ladies could do it, by golly, I could do it too. Although I stumbled a bit along the way, eventually I found a sense of confidence and became comfortable allowing my sensual self to awaken.

I even discovered that if I assigned my masculine side the job of organizing and expediting the birth of my feminine side, I could create an inner congruence that truly transformed my relationship with myself.

If you don’t have a flirty role model, you might pick someone in pop culture you admire. Or look to historical figures – Princess Diana was a fabulous flirt. That fantastic sideways glance of hers was killer and her uber charm seemed to ooze effortlessly.

I’m not suggesting you are not enough on your own or that you have to be something other than yourself; no, it is just that without a well developed feminine side, it’s helpful to study a woman who has that “it” factor and then make it your own unique essence.

The exciting news is it’s possible! All you have to do is create a plan and take actionable steps to get you there. Now there is one caveat, this is not about comparing yourself—it will just make you feel less than. One trick I do to keep my role models from intimidating me, or rather my shy little girl feminine Self, is to be grateful for the gift they are giving me by living fully into their most magnificent Self.

Being inspired by others is God’s gift to you—His way of giving you an example to learn from so that you will know how to manifest the same in your life.

Here’s how you do it:

1. Frame a picture a celebrity, public figure, relative, or friend you admire and place it in clear view so that you are reminded of the traits you want to embody.
2. Write down what makes them so sensual; their attitude, their behavior and their language.
3. Take time every day to look at the photo of your Feminine Flirty Role Model and say out loud, “I honor your traits of ______________ , and know I can own them too! I deserve to be cherished and supported.”
4. Sit in a chair, close your eyes and breathe into this affirmation. Pull the persona into your core with each breath. What it would be like to possess these qualities for yourself.
5. Thank God that your subconscious mind is working night and day instilling the new demeanor you desire and willingness to ask for the support you crave.

Do this for 30 days and notice how your mind opens up, how your thoughts and movements change – even if its subtle. All you need is a 1% shift and you can gain HUGE results. As you let go of your “I can do it myself” Self and slide into your feminine essence pay attention to the support that shows up! Happy shifting, love!