It was suggested that I start a weekly column for my readers
a short while ago and I instantly fell in love with the idea. It’s something
I’ve always wanted to do and my blog seems the perfect forum to answer all of
your burning relationship questions.
So every week I will take one of my subscriber questions and
give my best success strategies on how to resolve your issue. Let’s get started
Taking things slow is the biggest challenge I face
right now with my love life – any suggestions? Thanks,
Ready For Love
we’ve met the one we think is “the one,” we want things to go at lightning
speed, we want to be together every spare second and uplevel quickly. If you’re
engaged after a month you definitely want to slow it down and if it isn’t
moving as fast as you would like it to, trust me, that could be a good thing,
depending on how long you’ve been together..
Not knowing how long you’ve been in your relationship puts
me at a bit of a disadvantage- but if it’s less than two years be thankful it’s
going slowly. Why the 2- year benchmark? Because, it takes a good 2-years for
the masks to drop and the shadows to begin to show.
The first year everyone is having a party – it’s so great to
be in la la Loveland isn’t it? The pheramones (what makes you crazy for each
other) are at peak production, your diet is each other, and you make all sorts
of torrid promises while under the spell of this lusty love. But think about
you don’t really know who this person is – he’s on his best behavior. And so are
You’re worried what he’ll think if he see’s you without your
make-up, or in conflict with a neighbor, or voicing an opinion opposing his
etc. By the second year you are comfortable enough to start letting your guard
down – the good, bad and the ugly are all there to see.
This is when you find
out the true traits and if this relationship has lasting power. Is he there for
you when you’re physically and emotionally down? Does he respect you…there are so many
scenarios that need to play out to really know this man. So take your time!
So here are my five tips:
1. Be realistic and present in this relationship –
make sure you are seeing it for what it is and not fantasizing it to be the way
you want it to be.
- Pay attention to his actions, not just his words
- Take “me” time on a regular basis
- Have your list of non- negotiables handy and
review it often – are they being met? The list can easily get tossed and
forgotten when you are in the throes of new love.
- Stay connected to your girlfriends – who will support, love and ground you.
Most marriages end because people get hooked up for the
wrong reasons and have illusions based on assumptions. Let your
relationship take its natural time to progress and you will be thrilled with
the rock solid love you’ll build.
Love & Freedom,