Relationship Advice: Dear Sparkle….

Dear Sparkle,

I have lost connection with my boyfriend, how can I
reconnect with him?

Thanks…Lonely in Loveland

Dear Lonely in Loveland,

Thank you for your question…not knowing your current status I
am going to base my answer on the assumption you are still in a relationship
with your boyfriend but feeling disconnected.

First of all when men get in a comfortable space they feel
free to get back to their life – not giving you the attention they first did to
“win” your heart. This doesn’t mean they’ve lost interest it just means…

feel safe to go off and focus on other things. He may not be giving you the
compliments he was initially, touching you as often, or making you feel
“special.” Women tend to interpret this behavior as disconnected.

Another scenario is that you have BOTH gotten comfortable
and are giving more attention to your own needs and ambitions – forgetting to
water your garden.

Either way you sense a distance and as women we are very
sensitive to this shift in energy. But rather than focus on the lack you are
experiencing I suggest you try one of these three tips to reconnect:

  • Laughter
    – plan a fun time together – think about your first dates – what did you enjoy
    doing that brought you together with laughter? If you have similar sense of humors you may just need to have
    dinner together with the mindset that you will stay light and gear the
    conversation to a topic or story that will bring authentic, belly aching
    laughter. Or go dancing or see a funny movie. One thing is for sure – when you
    laugh with another person you immediately feel close and connected.

  • Speak
    from the heart –
    let him know how you are feeling. Men are not mind readers
    – just because you feel something is off doesn’t mean he has the same vibe.
    When you decide to approach be careful not to start your sentences with “You..”
    which will put him on the defensive. It’s important not to assign blame. If you
    come from your heart and let him know exactly how you are feeling, you are
    opening space for him to come towards you making it safe to connect.

  • Show
    interest in Him –
    ask him about his dreams and goals. Where does he see
    himself 5 years from now, what makes his heart sing. Make it about him –really
    connect with him by looking into his eyes and hold his gaze. Feel his soul and
    let him feel yours. This will let him know how much you care and will create an
    intimate bonding. When you hold the space for a man to express himself, without
    interruption, he feels respected and important and close to you.

Give one or all of these a try Cynthia and
then email me to let me know how it went at

I am confident any one of these tips
will lead you to the connection you crave.

Love & Freedom,