This month, we’re celebrating summer with a series of posts aimed at getting you ready to reveal your gorgeous selves to the whole wide world. I’m not just talking about how to feel good in a bikini—although for some of us, getting there is a major win! I’m talking about developing the confidence to reveal your true diamond essence so that you can live a life that sparkles with love and joy.
I know all of you out there want to live that life, and you’re certainly all deserving of it but you may not know how to get there. Here’s the thing, getting there starts with having an awareness of what’s blocking you. Most of my clients come to me because something in their life went askew and they need help figuring that out and getting a plan for how to move forward. Don’t feel bad if you haven’t figured it out on your own – to quote Les Brown, “It’s hard to see the picture when you are the one in the frame.”
Often, we’re stymied by a belief that isn’t true, a fear we’ve picked up in childhood or a protective mechanism that’s no longer serving us.
The trouble with these very common issues is that they’re often lurking just beneath our conscious awareness, driving us to behave in ways that can negatively affect our relationships and keep us from moving forward. Here’s the good news: overcoming these obstacles is simple when you are open and willing to give up the lone ranger syndrome and ask for a little help.
When Criticism Is a Good Thing
Most of us want to be the most sparkling, fabulous version of ourselves we can be – and that can be challenging without a caring support system to give you some honest feedback. And while the idea of exposing yourself to other people’s perceptions of you might be daunting, there are ways you can go about it that will keep things safe, constructive and loving.
- The first step is to check in with yourself. Make sure you are coming to this process from a place of curiosity and a genuine desire to learn about yourself. Remember, you’re mining for diamonds, removing the sludge that’s accumulated over a lifetime so that you can shine more brightly and be the person you truly are!
- Next, you want to make sure that you choose the right people. Pick three people in your life who you know love you and want what’s best for you.
- Make it clear that your intention is to grow as a person and improve your relationship. Ask them to give you feedback in a way that is constructive. Tell them you’re interested in hearing how they perceive you and that you want to know if you’re doing anything that feels manipulative, controlling or less than lovely.
- Give them time. It’s important to recognize that people might be afraid to tell you what they think so let them know that they don’t have to answer right away. However, put a time frame on the request and don’t allow it to extend beyond a week.
- Don’t take it personally but do take it seriously. Understand that whatever is reflected back to you, isn’t meant as an insult and remind yourself that you asked for the feedback. I remember right after my divorce asking a good friend of mine how I showed up in life – man it was painful to hear but in my gut I knew he was right. His honest share proved to be a powerful catalyst for my growth and transformation. On the flip side keep in mind that everyone has had their own experiences in life which give them their unique perspectives – what they share may NOT feel like a truth and that’s ok. No need to get defensive – keep reminding yourself you requested the feedback – let it flow.
- Make them a partner in this conversation. Ask them how you might improve or show up for them in a meaningful way to evolve the relationship or who you are in life.
No matter what you hear, even if you don’t think it’s true, be grateful to them for the feedback and be compassionate to yourself. This exercise is very challenging, but it has the potential to take you and your relationships to a glorious new level. When you do give this a try, leave a comment below and let me know how it went!
PS. If you would like to be free of the thoughts that haunt you and hurt you, Soul Sparkle Retreat would be a great benefit for you. It’s not just the week-end, it’s what happens afterwards that changes your life completely:)
Simply click here to sign up to speak with me to see if this retreat is a good fit for you. If you are ready to shut the door on the patterns that keep you stuck book a time to chat with me – this is your moment, it will be another year till the next retreat. Give yourself the gift of getting unstuck NOW!