How Touching, Intimacy & Connection = I Love You

If you long to hear the words, “I love you,” you will be surprised to learn that touching is what will actually propel your relationship into the intimacy you desire. You see words are processed in the thinking part of your brain whereas touch goes directly to your emotional centers. Read on to learn six simple ways to touch.

Regular touching of your lover as well as your own beautiful body gets the endorphins flowing, which create a sense of caring and pleasure, plus help to calm the stresses of the day.

Touching  communicates love and sadly we are a touch-starved society.

In the 1960’s a study showed the drastic differences in cultures by observing how many touches were exchanged with pairs of people around the world in coffee houses. Americans adhered to a strict diet touching only twice within an hour while Puerto Ricans got the prize touching 180 times an hour. The deprivation of touch may manifest as depression, anxiety, irritability, boredom, pain, moodiness as well as make you feel separate, lonely and isolated.  Touching allows you to move into sacred space, creating presence and connection. And yet, we are a touch starved society.

So many women complain that their relationships lack intimacy. We are born with an intense skin hunger. The emotional development of babies depends on tons of touching and as adults we have a strong need to be held in someone’s arms, hold hands, be cuddled, be caressed, etc. However, most people don’t touch as often as they would like – afraid of being rejected, seen as needy or vulnerable they cover their need for intimacy with work, activities, TV food, drugs, alcohol.

The first step to developing a successful, intimate relationship with your partner is to first build intimacy with yourself. Exploring every delicious curve of your body will help you get to know what you like and what makes you feel good.

Once you’ve got this down, you can reach out to your partner with confidence and create the closeness you crave.

With all these fantastic reasons to bring touch into relationships let’s take a look at 6 ways you can incorporate touch into your life.

– Initiate an intimate connection to yourself by putting on some soft tunes, lighting a candle, laying down, closing your eyes and letting you hands glide over your body, touching every delicious curve in a sacred non-sexual way. Appreciate your body and connect to your senses.

– You can enhance creating an intimate connection to yourself by using an aromatherapy lotion or essential oil with a sexy scent like ylang-ylang or rose. Let your sensual Self expand!

– Hugging increases closeness, connection and safety. Make sure it is a full body hug so you can feel the heart beat of the person you’re embracing.

– Kissing – raise his testosterone levels with a 20 second kiss and it will make you feel more connected.

– Massage – the shoulders, hands and feet get emotionally stimulated when touched. New York-based sex therapist Mildred Witkin, suggests couples should practice touching in a way that is not explicitly sexual to keep intimacy and playfulness alive.

– Dance classes are a great way to meet new people and have your hand and waist held all evening long. Contact your local YMCA or dance studio for schedules.

Follow these six steps to increase touching and you’ll soon be building the connection and intimacy you desire.


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