How to Get Clarity and Own Your Life!

I was recently skyping with a client in Japan, a delightful young woman, who is married but admits it’s not the relationship she had hoped it would be – she’s not getting the love and attention she would like from her partner. When I asked her what she would like her marriage to look like, what she wants, she said she didn’t know…and she felt helpless and stuck…

I gave her an exercise to do (I’ll give it to you at the end of this post) to get her started in knowing what she wanted. I could hear the excitement and energy shift in her voice – finally she would be able to have some clarity and direction…

This call made an impact on me – it further confirmed regardless your culture, age, relationship status, color, education or race if you don’t know what you want and clearly see it you will live an endless cycle of Groundhog days filled with disappointment.

So, are you clear about the life YOU want?

*Do you see your future in vivid color?

*Can you feel it, touch it, smell it?

If you answered yes you might be feeling a little like Julie Andrews and shouting to the mountaintops, “I’m ALIVE”!! But if you’re pondering the question, fiercely trying to catch a glimpse through the fog chances are, you’ve forgotten who you really are and what ignites your soul. I mean, really, how long has it been since you did what you loved and dared to dream without feeling guilty?

Come on now, fess up—there is no right or wrong answer, this is solely for your awareness. Creating an emotionally fulfilling and empowered life takes guts. Guts to get out of your own way, release the patterns and behavior that keep you stuck and comfortable within the discomfort (yes there has to be some payoff dear heart for you to continue with patterns that don’t allow you to soar!) But what I love about you, if you’re still reading, is that you have a desire to get out of the gunk and get your sparkle on. That’s awesome! And the first step is to dismantle that unfulfilling, routine and robotic life because it will only dull you down. To get glitzy and glimmering you’ll need to get clear on what you want and then connect with your electric passionate energy to super charge you there.

If you’re feeling anxious because you don’t know how to figure out what you want here’s a simple strategy that works and will give you clarity NOW.


The easiest way to know what you want is to acknowledge what you DON’T want. So grab a piece of paper and pen, fold it in half vertically and at the top of the left column put WHAT I DON’T WANT and list everything in your life you would like to say sayonara to….then go to the top of the right column and write WHAT I DO WANT and directly across from each thing you’ve listed in the left column write the opposite in the right column. Voila, you now know what you want! And I’m sure once your mind starts clicking in this direction it will come up with a few more fantastical idea’s for a brilliant, beautiful future.

Envision this daily and build a solid relationship with it. You will be amazed at how relaxed and happy you become in the present, knowing this reality awaits you and you are powerfully in control of your life!


BONUS: Do this process with a friend or partner and visualize for each other the dream life each desires. This added energy will boost results big time.

Would love to hear back from you once you’ve done this exercise – your feedback helps me be of the highest service to you. xo



  1. Hilda October 6, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    Wow…I loved this note on clarity. I am going to write down all the things I don’t want and then it will be easy to see what I do want! Thanks.

  2. sherri February 1, 2012 at 7:25 pm

    So happy it helped you Hilda!