Ever feel like you’ve lost touch with who you are?
Does it seem like it’s up to you to do everything and there’s not a moment to yourself?
You’re probably insanely capable and competent – a rock star woman who can handle anything, but deep down don’t you long for a man to take over at times so you can not only breathe but feel supported?
When I was married – this was always the scenario I was caught up in – wanting my man to take care of something, anything – but if I had to wait more than what I considered an appropriate “step up time” it was too late. I would immediately go into, “I’ll just do it myself, it’s easier,” and stuff the resentful thought, “I can’t believe he won’t help me – why do I have to do it all?”
Well this proved pretty disastrous in my relationship and when things crumbled I had to get honest with myself and admit I’d been leading with my masculine energy way more than my feminine.
After a good chat with a dear friend who pointed out I would have gotten more support and had a better relationship if I had been leading with my womanly charms, I realized I had to make major changes that were uncomfortable for me. Breathing life into my feminine nature became my sole focus. I also knew on a soul level learning to be flirtatious and dressing more “feminine” were good first steps, but this was more than a surface make-over, I had to dig deep and create a new mindset if I was going to become the leading lady of my life.
Years of conditioning and choice making based in fear and doubt had left me in a vicious tug of war between “I can do this” and “This is too hard.” Even though I had seen evidence that my feminine nature had a power and magic all of its own, I still reverted to my old masculine style of rigid control most of the time.
Thankfully, an idea popped into my awareness. If I was having a difficult time figuring out how to own my feminine, maybe I could find someone to model my behavior after. Certain I knew someone who was living out the sensual feminine life style that I craved, I mentally searched my circle of my friends.
Two names jumped right out to me. I set up times to be out and about with them and I took notes. I watched their gestures, their stance, their faces and most importantly, I watched how men acted around them.
These women had an ease and comfort with themselves that I couldn’t relate to. They exuded sexiness. Their flirtiness was so natural and engaging that when they came into the room, all of the men looked their way and the single men flocked to them.
With their support and counsel, I stepped gingerly into the ring. I was scared, nervous and wanted to throw up, but I was determined. If these ladies could do it, so could I. Although I stumbled quite a bit along the way, eventually I found a sense of confidence and became comfortable allowing my feminine leading lady to awaken and form.
I even discovered there was a way for me to make my masculine side helpful – giving it the job of taking actions to help me expedite the re-birthing of my feminine side. I could create an inner harmony that truly transformed my relationship with myself.
So who could you use as a role model to help you step more into the leading lady of your life? If you don’t have a role model, you might pick someone in pop culture who you admire. Scarlett Johansson and Dolly Parton are not only comfortable in their skin but empowered women overall. You can learn alot watching them in performance and in live interviews. I’m not suggesting you are not enough on your own or that you have to be something other than yourself; no, it is just that without a well developed feminine side, you are really only half of yourself.
The exciting news is it’s possible! All you have to do is create a plan and take actionable steps to get you there. Now there is one caveat, this is not about comparing yourself—it will just make you feel less than. One trick I do to keep my role models from intimidating me, or stir up my shy little girl feminine self, is to picture them with sopping wet hair and no makeup.
Being inspired by others is God’s gift to you—His way of giving you an example to learn from so that you will know how to manifest the same in your life.
Use this step-by-step action plan to become the leading lady of your life:
1. Frame a picture of a celebrity, public figure, relative, or friend you admire and place it in clear view so that you are reminded of the traits you want to embody.
2. Write down what makes them so attractive to you – both their attitude, their behavior and their language.
3. Take time every day to look at the photo of your Feminine Leading Lady Role Model and say out loud, “I honor your traits of ______________ , and know I can own them too!”
4. Sit in a chair, close your eyes and breathe into this affirmation. Pull the persona into your core with each breath. What it would be like to possess these qualities for yourself.
5. Thank God that your subconscious mind is working night and day instilling the new demeanor you desire.
Tis the season…to sparkle from the inside out! Take these steps and step into YOUR life – it’s waiting for you!!!
Please leave a comment if this article was helpful or resonated with you – love to hear from you!