Have you ever made a judgment or jumped to an unsavory conclusion before giving someone or something a chance?
Perhaps taking a firm stance, getting all rigid and closed off – absolutely certain you are right?!
Boy I sure have – not a pretty picture!
As a matter of fact I remember a time I tried out a new church a few years back. As I parked my car and started walking down the sidewalk towards the sanctuary I found myself immediately going into judgment- ugh, church in an industrial park? The people here don’t look like “my peeps”. It doesn’t have that “feeling” that makes me comfortable blah, blah, blah.
Sound familiar? Have you made similar assumptions?
I let my discomfort get the best of me and I felt myself contracting, my heart closing and disconnecting from the people in the room and then feeling a little superior (a common defense mechanism that pops up when you are feeling insecure, like you don’t fit in) Nonetheless, geeeeez! In church yet!
Then I remembered a powerful phrase my work out coach had given me – I’m paraphrasing here but the gist of it is….
My coach used to say, “the ability to master the mind and be comfortable in discomfort will get you big results and allow you to push the envelope in all area’s of your life.”
Well she was right. I kept breathing and asking God to help me be receptive to this new experience and guess what? My ears and eyes started to open and as the ministers (husband and wife) began to speak I received exactly what I needed in their message. I was going through a tough time with my family and what they said could not have been more perfect.
My heart began to soften and expand and I followed their instruction to release what was on my heart to God, to know that if someone was throwing rocks at me and doors were closing that He had something far better in store for me.
Almost instantly my tears stopped and I felt a wave of peace and strength fill my body. It was so sudden it took my breath away and I stopped for a second waiting for the sadness to return – but it didn’t. As a matter of fact, the peace just kept increasing only with tons of love too and as I looked around the church it was as if I could see each person with fresh eyes – I was able to SEE their light. No more judgment. Gone.
And the person I felt betrayed by I saw as an angel – surrounded by sparkling light – in her highest element and I was able to send her love. Freedom!
Why am I sharing this experience with you?
In hopes of bringing you more understanding of how we sabotage our happiness, joy and relationships with judgment… and how we can overcome it.
Had I stayed in judgment I would not have had the opportunity to heal, to see the beauty in every person around me – to connect and feel like I was part of something greater – to open my heart, feel forgiveness and learn a valuable lesson.
So be honest. How often do you feel uncomfortable and go into judgment, disconnect and close yourself off?
Next time you find yourself in discomfort, use this tool:
- Breathe deeply 3x – preferably to a count of 4 both on the inhale and the exhale
- Ask The Divine/God/Source to help you stay open, to stay in your softness
- With an earnest heart ask The Divine/God/Source to lift the emotion that’s coming up with the discomfort causing the judgment, the critical commentary.
Allowing yourself to let go will open your heart and help you create those fun-filled, loving, deeply connected relationships you were born to experience. Just like summer, freedom is right around the corner and boy does it feel sweet!