Ahhhh the warm sensual days of summer have arrived…thoughts of romantic adventures dance thru your mind…until you stop and remember that the original heat, fire and chemistry are long ago forgotten, you and your sweetheart have settled into life. Children may have arrived on the scene or your two careers may be absorbing a big chunk of your time. Economic worries and aging parents might be pulling at your heart.
Things have changed between you and your man and you are not happy about it, right?
If you are like most of the women who contact me every day about their lackluster love lives, I bet your life is scheduled in lines and columns on a spread sheet. Did you know that this manic need to organize your time is part of the masculine energy that has been running your life?
More true than ever before, as women are stepping up to match men in earning power, being feminine is often viewed as being weak. Let me tell you a little secret, nothing could be farther from the truth. There is nothing more powerful than a woman in touch with her inner essence, that charismatic sparkle.
That sparkle, the shining light in the core of your being is leading you, whether you are aware of it or not, to the truth of who you are. Your masculine hard working self is important and you need it but unless you know how to access your femininity, your man will see you as a friend or buddy but not as a lover.
1. Planning: Everything is on your Daytimer, right? Is your love life? Probably not. Just as you plan your day or week, it is critical that you schedule time to nurture your relationship.
Some times my clients complain that this takes the romance out and I stop them in their tracks with this question: “How’s it working for you?” Dr. Phil asks that question all the time. If you are not getting enough romance, why not try scheduling, it can’t get you less romance than you have now, can it?
2. Prioritize: Once you schedule “Romance Time” on your calendar, treat it as you would the most important business meeting of your career. – No cancelling no matter what. Commit to creating a new connection with your man. Even if all you do is sit on the couch and watch a movie, scheduling that as Romance Time on your calendar sets an intention and that intention changes everything.
3. Prepare: Put yourself in your man’s shoes. Look at life through his eyes. What would HE consider fun? Where can you take him that would light him up? This is the time to let the party planner you out of the bag.Think FUN.
4. Propose: Think about this – what if you wanted to reconnect with a client who had disappeared for awhile? You would prepare a proposal, right? Well, your man may need a proposal too. To propose means to put forward for discussion. Don’t force your desires for reconnection on your man. Gently propose a change and be willing to listen.
5. Play: Once you have your plan in place it is time to let your Sparkle shine. Your man fell in love with that spark in you. Your playful flirty self was fully engaged and he loved that. Put aside the petty hurts and give him amnesty for a bad habit that is plaguing you.
Choose to see him with a sense of humor. This change in attitude will do wonders restoking his passion.
Are you ready to start? Summer is here, there’s not a minute to spare!