Sure you’re capable, competent and a rock star woman who can handle anything, but deep down don’t you long for a man to step up to the plate and take over at times?
When I was married I was always caught up in this conundrum – wanting my other half to take care of something, anything – but if I had to wait longer than a nanosecond it was too late, I was at the helm. Well this proved pretty disastrous in my relationship and when things crumbled I had to cop to the fact I’d been living in my masculine energy way more than my feminine.
After a friend pointed out I needed a refresher course in the fine art of being a woman, I realized I had to make major changes that were uncomfortable for me. Breathing life into my feminine nature became my sole focus. Even though flirting and dressing in a more girly style were good first steps, I knew that this was more than a surface job.
I had to dig deep and create a new mindset if I was going to pull this off.
Years of conditioning and choice making based in fear and doubt had left me in a vicious tug of war between “I can do this” and “This is too hard.” Even though I had seen evidence that my feminine nature had a power and magic all of its own, I still reverted to my old masculine style of rigid control most of the time.
Thankfully, an idea floated up during one of my never miss meditations. Maybe I could find someone to model my behavior after. Certain I knew someone who was living out the sensual feminine life style that I craved, I searched my rolodex for help.
Two names jumped right out to me. I arranged to be at an event both of my sensuous friends were attending and I took notes. I watched their gestures, their stance, their faces and most importantly, I watched how men acted around them.
These women had an ease and comfort with themselves that I couldn’t relate to. They exuded sexiness. Their flirtiness was so natural and engaging that when they came into the room, all of the men looked their way and the single men flocked to them.
With their support and counsel, I stepped gingerly into the ring. I was scared, nervous and wanted to throw up, but I was determined. If these ladies could do it, by golly, I could do it too. Although I stumbled a bit along the way, eventually I found a sense of confidence and became comfortable allowing my sensual self to awaken.
I even discovered that if I assigned my masculine side the job of organizing and expediting the birth of my feminine side, I could create an inner congruence that truly transformed my relationship with myself.
If you don’t have a flirty role model, you might pick someone in pop culture who you admire. Oprah and Ellen DeGeneres are fabulous flirts. You can learn alot watching them interview their guests. I’m not suggesting you are not enough on your own or that you have to be something other than yourself; no, it is just that without a well developed feminine side, you are really only half of yourself.
The exciting news is it’s possible! All you have to do is create a plan and take actionable steps to get you there. Now there is one caveat, this is not about comparing yourself—it will just make you feel less than. One trick I do to keep my role models from intimidating me, or rather my shy little girl feminine self, is to picture them with sopping wet hair and no makeup.
Being inspired by others is God’s gift to you—His way of giving you an example to learn from so that you will know how to manifest the same in your life.
1. Frame a picture of a celebrity, public figure, relative, or friend you admire and place it in clear view so that you are reminded of the traits you want to embody.
2. Write down what makes them so sensual, both their attitude, their behavior and their language.
3. Take time every day to look at the photo of your Feminine Flirty Role Model and say out loud, “I honor your traits of ______________ , and know I can own them too!”
4. Sit in a chair, close your eyes and breathe into this affirmation. Pull the persona into your core with each breath. What it would be like to possess these qualities for yourself.
5. Thank God that your subconscious mind is working night and day instilling the new demeanor you desire.