5 Habits that block love

image for april 28Are you blocking yourself from love?

If you’re a strong, capable, independent woman, you may absolutely be keeping love at arms length without even realizing it! I know that’s hard to hear but it’s true.

Here’s what you need to know:

It’s wonderful to be able to take care of yourself, but if you are in a romantic relationship and you’re favoring your masculine side you are probably creating a wedge between you and your man! And the crazy thing is we don’t even see it!

I hear about this dilemma all the time with my female clients. The truth is we are so very capable – the trick is to be discerning with our capabilities. It’s crucial we learn when and how to flip to feminine so we stop blocking love unknowingly. It truly is a blind spot ladies!!!

You may ask- “Why?” Arguing you like being capable – it makes you feel empowered. And I totally get it, but here’s the thing – we all want to experience true love. And whether you are in a relationship or single, women with masculine energy create an invisible barricade against men, hindering their own ability to attract and maintain healthy, loving relationships.

Ay yi yi, is that what you want?

To avoid this wedge you want to get honest and ask yourself the question,
“Am I blocking love?”

Get honest and ask yourself, “ Do I exude masculine energy?” Millions of women in today’s world have ramped up their masculine sides. It’s been necessary to embrace the male traits in order to be successful in business, run households and accomplish endless day-to-day tasks. Unfortunately, there is a price to be paid for this yin-yang imbalance. When you lose touch with your yin (femininity), and amplify your yang (masculinity), you create an unseen armor against men and love.

You see, inside of each of us are the traits and characteristics of both masculine and feminine energy. The masculine side is driven, competitive, protective and solution-oriented. The feminine side is collaborative, multi-tasking, intuitive, receptive, magnetic and flowing. Balancing the two is a beautiful dance. When in harmony, your masculine and feminine aspects are complementary, not opposing, and interact to achieve great success in all aspects of life, including love.

However, it’s often true that successful, independent women over-utilize their masculine energy. While your masculine energy can propel your career, it can also wreak havoc in your relationships by blocking love. Here are the five ways that you block love when you exude masculine energy:

1. You send the message: “You’re not needed.” Are you so independent, capable and strong that it makes a man feel like he has nothing of value to offer? Men need to feel needed. It helps enhance their esteem and makes them feel great when they can help you. If you send the message “I am perfectly capable of doing it all myself, thank you very much,” you’ll leave no room for your man to show his love and support. After being shut down, your partner may search outside of your relationship for a way to fill his deep-seeded need to contribute.

2. You emasculate your man. If you’re the type of woman who “wears the pants” in the relationship, you’re forcing your partner to be the one wearing the dress, meaning, if you operate more in your masculine, your partner will be more in his feminine. For most men, this feminine energy is difficult to maintain. Even a sensitive man needs to be in touch with his masculinity. Men operating from the feminine become exhausted and depleted and thus will experience an urge to pull away or shut down.

3. You lose touch with yourself. Allowing your masculine side to dominate your life will rob you of your radiance. It disconnects you from your essential feminine essence. You absolutely shine when you embody your unique feminine radiance! Connecting to your femininity is essential to nurturing your soul and connecting with your playful, sensual, authentic Self. From this joyful feminine energy, you become allluring to men who seek to love and adore you.

4.You become unattractive. Masculine women aren’t attractive to men because opposites attract. A successful, healthy, masculine man will be searching for an authentic, feminine woman. Even if you are a beautiful woman, men will likely find you unattractive if you are living from your masculine energy.
True desirability has more to do with the way a person makes us feel than by how they look. Real magnetic attraction is created when a person makes us feel wonderful. Men feel wonderful when they are in their authentic masculine energy. A feminine woman knows how to make her man feel like a man. This causes him to feel so good; he is drawn to her like a powerful magnetic force.

5. You create competition. Masculine energy is competitive. If you’re vying for power in your relationship, you’re killing the connection to love. Competing with your man sends him a signal that you are opposing forces rather than a team. Happy, bonded relationships exist when each partner encourages and supports the other. If you’re busy trying to gain the upper hand and control your man, he’ll feel more like a servant than a partner, and your attraction to each other will wither away.

It’s time to remove the blocks to love! Women possess a sparkling brilliance when we’re connected to our raw feminine power. Knowing the ways your masculine energy blocks love allows you to make conscious choices to embrace your femininity. This return to your divine, feminine energy will remove the blocks to love and open the doors to a juicy and fulfilling relationship.


  1. MissP April 28, 2016 at 7:32 am

    Oh, this was just spot on! Knowing what I know now, I wish someone had told me this early on in my marriage.

    I have always had to fight against my”masculine” side dominating because it truly was a protective barrier when I was dating and it did help me in the business world. But I’ve been married too many years now and that masculine thing has truly gotten in the way. When I’m on target, I let him be the head and I focus on being a woman of “gentle” influence. Which actually tends to work out more in my favor.

    This entry boils it all down for those of us who prefer to operate from a womanist point of view that allows us to achieve but also have a marriage and loving relationship. It may not be politically correct, but it certainly speaks. Thanks so much.

  2. Sandra April 28, 2016 at 12:01 pm

    It’s hard to be so feminine when one’s spouse plays helpless and can not do anything to help out. I do tend to go into my masculine when things need to be done. These were very helpful and I printed them to focus on during the day and when problems arise. Thanks so much.

  3. Kayla April 28, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    Very well said! You can be femine and empowered.

  4. Sue April 30, 2016 at 12:51 pm

    Hi Sherri, it has been a while. You started me on my journey of self love and discovery. As a woman who lost her marriage , the love of her life because she was too controlling…I can attest to the truth of what you are saying here. I certainly wish I had known all of this15 years ago, my life might be different now. We are still separated and I am still discovering my divine feminine. I am signing up for belly dance lessons this week! I am still hopeful that with my learning and expansion I will be able to call him back. Lots of love to you!
    Sue in Halifax