4 Tips to Build Friendships

With my “lifers” celebrating our friend Carrie’s birthday!

Yay summer is here!!! I love the long days of sunshine and warmth and all the opportunities for adventurous frolics!!! Yessiree summer is a fantastic time to reconnect with all your favorite girlfriends! And I’m not talking about putting together a brunch with friends where all you do is sit around complaining about the men in your life (or lack of) or indulging in gossip.

I’m talking about some serious, soul sister quality time where you drop down into your heart and engage in ways that inspire the release of that fabulous feel-good chemical oxytocin.

Sometimes referred to as “the love hormone,” oxytocin is released after sex, after childbirth and, when we spend time with our closest friends. It’s not surprising then that research points to longer, healthier lives for women with large social circles, while those who isolate themselves experience higher levels of stress hormones (which result in reduced well-being).

To make matters worse, isolation is a vicious cycle. If you’re already feeling lonely and depressed, you’re less likely to go out and engage with other people, which makes it that much harder to make new friends and widen your social circle.

Why Do We Lose Touch with Our Friends?

Sometimes it’s a matter of scheduling or geography. Sometimes we’re afraid of being rejected. You might think, “Oh, my friend has so much going on, I’ll just wait for her to contact me.” Then, when she doesn’t (because she’s not a mind-reader) you feel even more rejected, creating the exact scenario you were trying to avoid.

If you’re married, it’s possible that you’ve made your husband the center of your universe. But even in the closest of marriages, your husband will never fill the same space that your girlfriends do. Men are fixers. They won’t just sit there and chat with you about what’s happening.

Your girlfriends are going through the same challenges that you are—divorce, health issues, aging parents, problems with your kids, weight gain, hormones, all of it. So, prioritize your girlfriend time!

I have one group of friends that’s made it a point to get together on each of our birthdays for the last 40 years! If that’s too much of a commitment for your friend group, then plan one annual get together. It doesn’t have to be some huge trip so long as you make a point of creating something special together.

How to Reconnect If You’ve Let Those Friendships Fall Away

If you haven’t spoken to one of your friends in a while, a simple text to let her know that you miss her and would love to connect is a great way to open up the line of communication.

We often avoid reaching out because we think we’re going to need a marathon phone call to fill each other in on everything that’s been happening but that’s really not true. Five minutes is better than nothing, trust me. Let your friend know up front you only have a few minutes but wanted to connect and you’ll be amazed how uplifted, warm and yummy you’ll both feel with that short chat.

Ways to Build Your Social Circle

If you’re someone who has a hard time making friends or if you’ve lost touch with old friends and are trying to rebuild your social circle, here are some easy ways to get started:

  • Join a women’s business networking group
  • Find a women’s group at your church
  • Take a class at your local community center
  • Sign up for a weekend yoga retreat or workshop

If deeply connected friendship is important to you then make the commitment today to either reach out to one of your soul sisters OR spread your wings and do something different to meet a new friend.

Life is meant to be shared and enjoyed so don’t delay, connect NOW!!!

Sparkling love,

Sherri

PS – If you really long to make new friends and meet other heart centered fabulous like-minded women who, just like you, are dedicated to becoming their best most sparkling Self, then I invite you to check out my 2019 Soul Sparkle Retreat, August 14th-17th– at the luxurious Miramar Beach Resort in California.

This exclusive retreat is limited to just 12 women. I have 2 spots left, If you want to be one of them, email me today at Sherri@unleashyoursparkle.com.