10 Ways to Tell if You Favor Your Masculine or Feminine Side

We’ve all heard it—balance your masculine and feminine. But what exactly does this statement mean? And what’s the difference between masculine and feminine energy?

Let’s first take a look at what it means to be in your masculine or feminine energy along with some of the traits for each. When someone (male or female) is running their masculine energy, some of the ways they behave include: aggressive, decisive, providing, logical, leading, direct or directive, protective, competitive, planning, strong, controlling, and vying for power. When, however, someone is running their feminine energy, their characteristics include: intuitive, connective, relational, cooperative, receiving, emotional, collaborative, bonding, flowing, and magnetic.

None of these traits are bad or undesirable. In fact, all of these characteristics are beneficial. As you read through both sets of traits, something becomes evident though—masculine energies are all about “doing,” while feminine energies speak to “being.” The key is to understand when each serves us and to be able to identify if we’re out of balance.

To begin to identify if you are leaning toward one “energy set,” here are some questions to consider:

1) Are you always trying to save the day, flying around like superwoman?
2) Are you so independent that it seems you don’t really need anyone else in your life?
3) If you have someone in your life, do they feel intimidated by you?
4) In your attempt to be powerful, do you behave in ways that make others shy away from you because you seem to “come on too strong”?
5) Does having time when you’re not working a “to do” list make you feel lazy, unproductive, or in some way “less than”?

If you’ve answered “yes” to any of the above questions, chances are you’re sometimes living in your masculine energy. At least in those types of situations or scenarios, your masculine energy may be running the show. Many women, in attempting to claim their feminine power, actually move into their masculine energy as they strive to demonstrate their competence and accomplishments. In response, men often feel unnecessary in their lives and either shut down or leave.

So, now let’s take a look at some feminine energy clues:

1) Do you set goals and never or rarely achieve them?
2) Are there times when you are plagued by indecision? Not sure what would be the best course of action in a situation, either personally or professionally?
3) Do you find that you defer to the wishes or desires of your partner, colleagues, family or friends?
4) Do you sometimes find that you don’t have a preference or an opinion about a topic being discussed in a group setting?
5) When someone asks you how you are feeling in a given situation, does it become apparent that you don’t know what you think or feel?

Again, if you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be spending too much time with your feminine energy. In striving to connect with your feminine, you may have moved into passivity and become overly compliant or extremely adaptable. In the process of “being,” you may find you never complete goals, accomplish your dreams, or speak your truths.

Men and women both have masculine and feminine energies. Balancing both creates a beautiful dance where we know when to “be” and when to “do.” For instance, there are times when we need to become more introspective and understand our own desires and dreams. The feminine then definitely needs the masculine mojo to give wings to those creative pursuits, to connect with ambition, to move into the world and fly. The trick is to balance the yin and yang, the ebb and flow of living a life that is satisfying, joyful, and juicy.

If you believe your life is out of balance, ask yourself the following:

1) Am I living more in a “being” or “doing” state?
2) Am I exhausted all the time from “over-doing” or do I never want to do anything because I just want to “be” left alone?
3) What can I do to balance these two energies?

If you’re not sure whether things are out of balance, ask your close friends. They may be able to help you identify what’s happening and offer insights to bring back a sense of balance in your life. They can offer perspective and remind you of who you are and what’s really important. They can even make you laugh and lighten up!

Living life fully and maintaining balance in your life requires balancing your softness with your power and knowing when to flip from doing to being. Balancing the male and female energies can become a beautiful dance in your life. Because each person has both, you will design a much happier life by discerning when it’s appropriate to “do” and when it’s better to just breathe and “be.”


  1. Cynthia June 20, 2012 at 3:58 am

    I’ve lived in the extreme of masculinity and understand the necessity of being able to provide for myself, but I am firmly grounded and ruled by my feminine spirit. Nothing has ever been so fulfilling or created more effortless and flowing productivity for me. To me the feminine does “do” it just achieves it differently, like water instead of fire. All things taken to an extreme can be unhelpful, but for me the idea of living in a balance of masculine and feminine energies just doesn’t work. I am woman down to every fiber of my being.

    Thank you for creating this FUN and beautiful site. I’ve enjoyed clicking around 🙂